Spanksgiving

In the spirit of the impending holiday, I thought I would take some time to consider all the things that I am thankful for. If you have read my previous post, you know that I am currently in a self-diagnosed “quarter-life” crisis. With that being said, as part of my treatment, I decided that it would be helpful to first start by being thankful for what I have and what has been great this year – Which has been a lot of the year! So here it goes:

1. Spending the summer with Future Dr. B – With him participating in a research opportunity, I was able to keep him in Cleveland for the entire summer. Well I guess 9 weeks in total, but it was wonderful. Definitely much better then our current far away from each other situation, and I loved every minute of it. So thank you to the gods for the perfect arrangement of that research opportunity.

2. Friend time – I have been lucky to maintain many of my friends from high school and college. Even though I really wish we all lived on the same street and hung out like lifetime movie friends – all the time, I have had some awesome times with them. I realized that not everyone has close-knit groups of friends like I do. For that, I am very thankful this year. I look on Facebook and see all of these pictures of people with tons of friends. I think, wow, I must not be as friendly as them. But then, I hear stories and hear that people envy about my close friends. They envy how they are there for me, and well we know each other. I realized more isn’t always better, and I am truly the lucky one. Thank you friends.

3. Family ties  – This has been a trying year for different elements and people in my family. I think as the year ends we are finally crossing many different difficult life events, and hopefully turning a corner. I am thankful for the change in adversity my family is facing.

4. Personal Health – I am thankful for my personal health and all the many blessing that keep me well fed, roof over my head, and happily enjoying life as I should be. As much as I want to worry about tomorrow, I am thankful for today and the fact that I a have a healthy body and mind. I need to keep remembering this more.

I guess the best way to ward off the impending winter blues and my quarter life crisis is the reflect what I am thankful for. I am going to continue to work on the thankfulness and contemplating what is next for me in 2014. Happy Thanksgiving All! I hope you take the time to consider – What are you Thankful for?

My Playground

What a beautiful day in the city!

Quarter-Life Crisis

So I realized today…well maybe before today…that I am currently in a full blown Quarter-life crisis.

I have officially been a “grown-up” for four years. Initially, after college, I was on a new-money-acquired high. Shortly after that, I was still experiencing the euphoria of feeling important in my job. Slowly past that peak, I started to wain, but kept justifying my decent salary as happiness. This salary afforded a comfortable lifestyle including vacations, dinners out, and more things – shouldn’t this be happiness? Then I hit the wall – is my life really going to be like this forever? I get up go to work, sit at a desk, eat lunch, sit at a desk, leave work, clean my house, put in a work-out video, watch an hour of tv, talk to Future Dr. B, go to sleep, get up for work, sit at a desk, eat lunch, sit at a desk…..you get the point.

I find myself looking forward to the smallest of details to obtain my happiness now – “Yes! I have pizza for lunch.” However, I am finding it hard and harder to draw self worth lunchtime options.

I had read an article about millennial dissatisfaction in life (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/generation-y-unhappy_b_3930620.html). I thought maybe this was the answer to my Quarter-life dispair. Maybe I set the bar too high. Then again I was only setting the bar to lunch time food options so…. I dug deeper and discovered the source of some of these feelings – I know what you are currently thinking – Janean, you are so blessed – Decent job, roof over your head, time and resources for leisure activities! I am undoubtedly grateful for my current position in life. I’ve just realized that I had been dumping so much effort into trying to determine Future Dr. B’s future – What his med school grades are, how many weeks until his next test, should I cook him some meals to freeze, can’t go to this event with friends because this is the only weekend I can drive down to Dayton to see him because HE is so busy.

What about ME so busy? Do I want to go back to school? What about that law school degree that I always wanted to pursue. Maybe an MBA? What about writing a book? Wait! I want to take a cooking class?

I realized that I am always suppressing these thoughts because it is more about him than me every day. Don’t get me wrong, I love this boy. However, it is really hard being the significant other of someone whose path is already so clearing defined. Given the financial and time commitment that he has already invested in this future career as an M.D., it is hard to justify deviating to even entertain my aspirations. I don’t even think about my aspirations to come to think of it. And there it comes, the wave of anxiety.

=Quarter-life Crisis

Weekend Shmeekend

With the weekend readily approaching and my lunch hour coming to a close, I realized I didn’t have as much motivation for the weekend as I initially thought when I hesitantly rolled out of bed this morning. Sure, I am looking forward to sleeping in and getting some things done around the house. However, knowing it will be a few weeks before I see my little busy hematology studying M2 boyfriend makes it harder to really look forward to the break. I feel like I am getting sort of sappy, but I find myself less motivated to enjoy a weekend without his company.

Soo…I decided I would solicit some help from my readership. For anyone that has had long distance relationship medical school or not…what is the best way to get over the weekend loneliness?????

Too Long – Where has my time gone?

I know it has been way too long since I initially posted. I had every best interest originally to update often. Then it seems that life just kept moving too fast. These last two months have been a whirlwind. With Brendan nearing the tend of the M2 first half and work really kicking up for me, I feel like there hasn’t been enough time to truly miss or appreciate each other. However, I was looking through my iphone pictures, and I realized this was probably two months in which we spent the most time together since early summer. We celebrated our 4th year of “togetherness” this past weekend, and I realized very quickly that these last two months have really brought a lot of good times. I think one of the hardest things about dating someone in medical school, especially if you are living apart, is carving out enough time – rephrase – QUALITY time for one another.  I can say in the last two months we have successfully been able to accomplish this. I think that is why I have been MIA partially – I haven’t felt the same loneliness nor had the time because of all the things Brendan and I have been doing together. I understand those of you out there who might be away from your significant others for extended periods of times may have the urge to eye roll right now. But take it from a middle to late twenties couple, who have made long distance, full time jobs, and medical school some how work together in harmony for 4 years!

In tribute here is a retrospect appreciation to everything good that has happened in the two months – I hope this is the strength we can continue to muster for the rest of year, help us get through board exams, big work projects, and another 2.5 years of “apart/togetherness”.

We kicked off fall on the nicest day with “Donut September”

I promise we didn’t eat ALL of these by ourselves 😉

Took a day trip to Pittsburgh to see my favorite international duck

Ate at a Pittsburgh institution

Oh Hey Katy Perry and John Mayer

Nothing better than sampling some micro brews after a big test…

Cleveland Art Museum for fun togetherness anniversary celebration 🙂

Night out on the town