Relationships with Residents

Dating a medical student is my blog namesake, but obviously my relationship has evolved past dating, and Dr. B has graduated medical school. I have actually been blogging since 2012, if that is even possible! Last I checked, medical school didn’t take 6 years  – then again, it sure felt like it did.

I figured I would take this time to explore relationships with residents a little further, since that is the season Dr. B and I are currently in on this journey to attending. Dr. B is on the eve of starting his third year of residency, but really his PGY 2 year since his first year was research block. Reflecting on the last two years, I have realized my life has been a whirlwind. I went back and read my first ever blog post titled “Medical School Girlfriend = Constant Waiting Game.” After thinking about that title, I realized this blog should really be called: “Resident’s Spouse = Alone in Empty House.” lollllz – I literally just laughed out loud. But in all seriousness, as much as I wanted residency to get easier, it comes with its own set of challenges. For Dr. B and I, residency meant we would finally be in the same place, living together, married. This was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, because just the idea of getting to spend time with him daily was a true treat. However, adding the benefit of being in the same place has also added the difficulties of a residents schedule. Dr. B has been on trauma rotations the last few months, and he comes home utterly exhausted. He eats dinner and hits the sack almost every night without so much as say two words to me. I feel so bad that he is that worn out, I don’t even protest. He only gets off 4 days in a month, and even those days I feel are meant for him to catch up on some much needed sleep, the kind he doesn’t get the rest of the month getting up at 4am and arriving home late into the evening.

For anyone who has followed this blog, I am a pretty independent person. So normally these maddening hours would just give me an excuse to throw myself into my hobbies, passions and friends. Moving to a different city for his residency has really thrown me for a loop, however. In the past, I had my sets of friends that I could easily hang with when he wasn’t around. In the city that we are in now, I feel like I don’t have enough strong relationships to have that same support system. In addition, we bought a house that has needed a fair amount of work. Doing a lot of these tasks alone adds to my general difficulties and loneliness.

Today was a good day overall. I need to count my blessings on days like today. I had an awesome lunch conversation with a newer friend I met during my MBA. I was also able to go to happy hour with a developing friendship I made during time at my last job. Today my social calendar was filled, and I was able to spend time cultivating new relationships. Yes, I am alone typing this blog. Yes, Dr. B barely has seen me this week. But days when I can laugh with friends over a marg and some guac are days that should be cherished.

I so want to love this time Dr. B and I have together. We are still newly married and our two year anniversary is only two weeks away. I sometimes kick myself for wishing away the days, and go back to my older blogs to remember the right way to handle this loneliness. I know I need to refocus and live in the moment. I need to enjoy being with myself. I need to trust that this journey does not come with a beginning and end, but an ever-winding path, with good turns and bad. I am happy to be 30 and in this season of life. My focus needs to be the good, not the loneliness and wishing for more. I’m just glad I still have a place to talk about these issues.

For anyone dating, engaged, married or in a partnership with a resident or someone with a resident  like career – how do you handle the time apart?

New Beginnings, Graduation, and Green Juice

GRADUATION

A lot has been going on recently, and many changes have been occurring. To kick it all off, a little over 7 months ago, I embarked on a sabbatical to finish my MBA, and I fondly coined it with the term “The Year of Me.”  Please take a look back at those posts for a little more background on what that journey meant for me. If you look back, so much of this blog really focuses on my relationship with Dr. B (I do plan to talk more about that in the future – there is always a lot to say there), but really “The Year of Me” was a time to find myself, finish my school, take a break from work. Well… the not even a full year of time has come to an end, and well – I graduated! GAHHH – sooo crazy.

 

NEW BEGINNINGS

So with the closure of that chapter starts a new chapter – I will being teaching at a local university in the evenings as an adjunct instructor! I am super excited about this new prospect and can’t wait to dive in and help my students grow. I am super nervous about this class though because I have never taught before – if there are any teachers or professors reading this, feel free to leave me some tips!

In addition to getting ready for the summer semester class, I have been trying to decide what is next for me. I am looking to get back into the corporate world , possibly for my last company and expand on my leadership. Please think about me as I embark on this decision. The last few months have been really hard with Dr. B’s schedule and his mom’s health, so I am not really sure what the right path is for me yet.

One top of all of that, I have been recently expanding my hobby selling new and used clothing onto Poshmark – you can find my store here – Poshmark Store. I have always been selling on the side here and there using eBay, but with the little extra time I have had, I am going to be adding more inventory to Poshmark. Feel free to take a look if you enjoy getting great designer clothes at a discount.

Now back to the important stuff – Blog Goals:

On top of all my other ventures, I really do want to make an extra effort to continue to update this blog. I do not get a lot of readers, but really this is a great outlet for me to express myself and update others. So here are a few of my goals below. If you feel so inclined, please comment on what you would like to hear more about.

  1. Reorg the blog – I need to do a better job categorizing the posts. I have a long-term goal to move this blog to my .com, but that is going to stay a longer term goal for now
  2. Continue to post more frequently. I would like to add some segments based on readers preferences. I get a lot of traffic on my older relationship blogs, but I am not always sure that is what people want to read. That is honestly what I enjoy writing about most, however, so bring it on.
  3. Incorporate more of me – a lot of this blog has centered around Dr. B. While it will always be that way to an extent, he is my husband after all, I would like to move this blog to focus a little more on myself. This would also make Dr. B feel better – he is blog shy. What are your thoughts?
  4. Vlogs? – This is the one thing I have toyed around with most of all. I see so many awesome vlogs out there today, and I have wondered if this would be a nice step for this blog. Mostly, because I think it would be awesome to have my life documented in a way. I am really bad about taking pictures and filming. I would like to have these memories captured, and I am wondering if a vlog is a good outlet. My only concern is that it exposes too much of my personal life/privacy concerns. Plus – who knows if my life is even that interesting.

Anyways – these are some of my goals. Please hold me to them, or at least making a decision on them. Also if you have any ideas, suggestions, or concerns please let me know. I am really interested in knowing what readers think. This blog started as a diary of sorts and has really expanded to be open to others. I’ve liked the growth in some ways, but I also want to keep that diary feel.

GREEN JUICE

You are probably wondering – what in the world? So as I mentioned in my last post, Dr. B’s mom is battling pancreatic cancer. This has been so hard on everyone (I have a post started on dealing with cancer in a family and as a spouse). One of the ways I have tried to be supportive is by doing ample research, mostly scientific because B is a Dr. after all. Her treatments haven’t been very successful and the cancer has spread fairly rapidly. This has been devastating news for all. During this bad news, I came across some scientific research around bitter melons helping cancer.

 

They are these sort of prickly melons I have found at an international market. Well, I have been juicing them for Dr. B’s mom. It is a very interesting and comical process. Would definitely make a good vlog if I ever do one. Here is a pic below of the juice I made.

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The reason this is important is she is having updated scans in two weeks. I am hoping for the first time we get a little good news and the green juice is working. This stuff doesn’t taste great, but I am praying it is killing dem cancer cells!

I think that’s all I got for now…