Blast from the Past

I’m back – I swear this time!

I know it has been soooo long since my last update. I always say I will continue to post when I finally start to write. And well I might put up a few posts – and then I get into the habit of not updating again. This time, I am very serious though. Things have finally started to calm down in my crazy life, and I really need this outlet.

Well, where to start?  Here is a little preview of what is to come:

I moved

Got Married

Got a New Job

Am completely out of my comfort zone

I think the best way to get it all out there is to do a series of flashback segments. I went ahead and took a look back on my last posts – I left off with: 10 reasons to love dating a medical school student.

So let’s just start there:

Flashback #1

April 16, 2016

It was blizzarding. I mean really snowing. This isn’t he kind of snow that comes down sweetly gracing your cheek. This is the kind of snow that hits you like tiny knives and tries to blow your whole body over. I mean, where I live this is no surprise that we would get that much snow in all actuality, but in April? Common?

It was a good friend’s wedding day, to make matters better or worse – however you look at it (some people like a white wedding). Future Dr. B and I got all dressed up in our best wedding wear. He was wearing his new suit only worn during residency interview season and I got out of the car with my high heels perching me just above the snow mounds. Perfect!

Next came the Ceremony – and it was just beautiful. It was one of those enchanting ceremonies in a very elaborate Catholic church, with beautiful music, beautiful scenery, and all this love. I mean – could it really be any better? Snow storm and all, it was one of those moments where you can really just repaint the beauty in the mind better than any words can describe.

I looked over at Future Dr. B right when our friends started to say their vows. I couldn’t help but start to picture what our next few months were going to look like. We were getting married less than two months later, medical school graduation and moving was somewhere in that mix as well. This was a scary/exciting time for us, and I felt like this wedding helped stir up all those fuzzy feelings. The deep deep ones.

The mid-April snow shower during a spring wedding was the perfect metaphor of what was to come, in hindsight. Was it a calm before the storm or ice over a spring scene? A chilling beauty was evoked by the snowflakes gracing the ground around the church just as a beautiful bride exited with her new groom.

The only thing I could think of at the time was “I really hope that it doesn’t snow in June.” Brides are vain like that, what can I say? What I really wish is that I would have just absorbed the loveliness of the moment. I should have noticed the details of her dress or shared in the love of the newly married couple as I spent time with Future Dr. B before our lives turned upside down. (That is probably flashback number 3 or 4 though).

Sitting at the reception with our friends, laughing and sharing a delicious meal, I really think I probably should have just let it soak in. I didn’t really think the next and last time I would really being seeing a lot of these friends was at our own wedding, after which we would be immediately moving to a new place. I also didn’t really think about how nuts the next few months were going to get on both of us, our lives, relationship and really the test that was to come.

I do remember one part of the night that I was really in the moment. It was “our” song on the dance floor and Future Dr. B had just gotten another drink. I took it from his hand and set it on the table, grabbing his arm to dance. He did so ever so sweetly, even if there was some reluctance as he watched us walk away from his newly poured old-fashioned. The sweet tune of Elvis Presley was in the background, singing about fools rushing into love. We definitely weren’t rushing this one, 7 years of a relationship later and a few months away from our own marriage. We slowly swayed to the song and I was getting ever more excited about our own wedding as I felt Brendan near to me dancing in the moment himself. We were dancing for a minute, maybe two, when the DJ changed up the song. Just in that moment, all of the medical school friends swarmed the dance floor. Future Dr. B joined them as quickly as he had started to dance with me, joyously shouting their favorite medical school bar tune. I walked back to the table to watch, smiling slightly as I sat down. I took a big sip from Future Dr. B’s drink and enjoyed the people watching.

That is just what it is like being in a relationship with a medical student soon to be medical professional -right?

Things are looking…Up!

It has been one crazy week. Really nuts to even look back day to day. These last few weeks have literally been the longest days of my life, starting in mid-march with the match all the way to today as we figure out what is next. Even just a week ago there were a ton of unknowns. Where were we going to live, what was my job going to look like, should I sell my house, should we split this year up and live apart even after marriage, should we book a new honeymoon since we had to cancel ours, and finally…when was this all going to get done?

I am happy to report that I have checked many of these “unknown” items off my list and am finally feeling comfortable with the idea of all of this change that is about to occur.

So let me break it down. Late last week we were in talks to rent a house near the hospital where Future Dr. B will do his research fellowship this year. Its a “days” drivable distance but still far from where I currently live. We weren’t sure what was going to happen, but luckily Future Dr. B was able to get out there and see the house since I could not make the trip. The housing market is  very hot in the city we are trying to relocate to and we have been having a really hard time finding a place that is both affordable and workable for what we are trying to achieve. I am really not being very picky, but after owning a home for 6 years, I had a hard time giving up a few luxuries – an in-suite washer and dryer being one of them. Trust me – I have sacrificed A LOT – give this girl convenient laundry!  #futureresidentswifeproblems

Additionally, I had my first of two bridal showers over the weekend. We made a thing of it and went down to see the house again together with our Moms. The house was a little rough around the edges, but I think it will honestly work out for what we are trying to accomplish in the next year. I must say, it is very weird to go from being a home owner for the last 6 years to negotiating a rent deal and being so reliant on others. Overall the entire weekend was lovely, and I was so happy to be able to spend time with Future Dr. B’s family and friends in honor of our upcoming nuptials.

In addition to all this weekend fun, late last week I found out that the proposal I had made to work remotely at my current employer was being approved. I still have a ways to go to determine a finalized schedule, but I am happy to report that I now have an alternative to finding a new job in order to be near Future Dr. B. Breathe in and Ssssigghhh. Thank GOD!

To make matters even more AWESOME – Future Dr. B and I found out we were approved to rent the house on Monday. Cha ching…finally things going in our favor. At least he won’t need to sleep in a card board box for his first few weeks working.

Not to overwhelm with this overly positive post, but I just have to sit here and smile. Its like one of those making lemonade out of a big fat bag of lemons comments. At least something is going right for us even though we aren’t in the most optimal situation. This has hands down been the most difficult year of my entire life. Anything I even remotely complained about or prepared for could not have truly made me ready for the amount of stress and mental strength I would need to keep it together during this crazy time. I know there are still so many unknowns to get through before the wedding and this summers transition, not to mention this winters re-match, but I feel confident that at least some things are turning out in the right way.

We also booked a new honeymoon. Bermuda here we come. Might not be two weeks to Europe as planned…but hey – its pretty darn awesome to me!

A Review of Dating a Medical Student…Countdown

I am currently at the 6 month countdown to wedded bliss with Future Dr. B, and I figured this was a good time to do a reflective piece. There are lots of countdowns going on in my mind actually. Let me see..

1. Until wedded bliss – 6 months
2. Countdown until I know where I live (aka matchday) – roughly 3.5 months (March 18^th this year)
3. Countdown until residency starts for Future Dr. B, well rephrase – both of us really – 7 months
4. Countdown until the car I bought Future Dr. B is paid for – 4 years 11 months (or 7 months until Future Dr. B has to start making the payments (got him lol)
5. Countdown until I potentially could need to do all of the following: find a new job, new house, sell my house, move and uproot my life…well that is TBD in all actuality – somewhere between 3.5 months and 7 months.

The list of countdowns could honestly go on and on. Dating a medical student and/or marrying them involves constant changes and new developments. A couple years ago, I wrote my most popular blog post to date: Dating a Medical Student = Constant Waiting Game. Go check it out if you haven’t read it! The constant waiting game blog is really where the story started for me. I was just beginning to become truly serious in my relationship with Future Dr. B, and he was deep into his second year of medical school. I felt like I was always waiting around until he was done with whatever HE was done with. I made a pact with myself during that second year of medical school, that I could no longer view this journey with him as a waiting game and embrace my life for what it was – “living in the moment” if you will. I focused on ME for a time. In doing so, I began to formulate what I saw as a plan for OUR lives, what eventually evolved into a multitude of countdowns. I think I compensated for my lack of control over Future Dr. B’s schedule, which I felt had been defining my own life, by creating my own version of a timeline… or I should clarify – “countdowns”. The one thing I just recently realized though, is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the end to the seemingly perennial countdown, is an oxymoron because dating a medical student is a continuous chain of countdowns – one beginning when the next one ends. What I had originally concocted as my happily ever after, my end to the “constant waiting game,” and the plan for how I controlled our relationship, really turned out to control me.

I had the “Ah hah” moment this weekend when I was having a pleasant and rare dinner out with Future Dr. B. It was a date night that was unplanned and a totally happy diversion from all the stress we are currently encountering. Future Dr. B was back early from one of his interviews, and we decided to hit the town with plans to have dinner at a local brewery. It was 7pm, and we walked into the restaurant ready to throw back a couple of brews and nosh on some hipster style hamburgers. When we approached the hostess stand to garner a table, she responded that they were no longer seating anyone else for the night. I was totally aghast, surprised that any local eatery would turn away patrons willing to wait. We never got a clear answer as to why the brewery could not take anyone else to eat, the strangest part being that they didn’t even take reservations either. I was perplexed to say the least. However, we wound up going down the street to an equally delicious eatery, imbibing on my favorite Christmas beer concoction and having a wonderful experience. [insert “ah hah” moment here] I realized, in that moment, that if I was always so calculated in my choices, if I always set these imaginary deadlines about what should be next, I would be missing out on the great experience tucked in the corner. Those just might be the events and choices that turn out to be the most fun in the end. Who knows?

Over the next six months, I have decided to let a lot of what I can’t control come as it may and enjoy all of these changes for what they are. I might not know where Future Dr. B will match for residency, where I potentially will live, what my job will be, or what my life will look like in general. This is sort of exciting and scary all at the same time.

 

All of us – dating, engaged to, marrying, or married to a medical student/resident – let’s do this together!

Ahh – I’m inspired, I love when that happens!