Dating a medical student means holidays apart

This Thanksgiving, I am very thankful for the wonderfully blessed year I have had, and I am looking forward to a day of overindulging and spending time with family and friends. However, my thanksgiving is always a little bit lonely because I never spend it with Future Dr. B. I rarely have spent any holidays with him in fact. I guess this is just how it is when you are dating a future doctor in a long distance relationship.

Every big holiday, I always feel a little bit empty as I think about how Future Dr. B and I won’t get to spend the holiday together. I think of all the other people out there with significant others in the same position. I know doctor’s significant others aren’t the only ones spending holidays apart. It does give me comfort that there are many of us banded together in this perpetual party of one holiday problem. However, the holidays are a time that can both create joy and sadness in a person’s life. It is especially hard if you are spending a holiday without a support system.

This has been a very tough year for me in general. Being apart from Future Dr. B is just skimming the top. I lost both my aunt and my cherished grandmother this year. It hasn’t been long since my grandmother’s passing, making this year especially difficult.

I know that this distance during the holidays will most likely be a trend, especially as Future Dr. B is headed to residency. I am going to try to focus on building the relationships with my family and friends present and hope there will be a time in the future that our holidays are together. In the mean time, I am thankful for another great year and am looking forward to what’s to come in 2016.

Happy Thanksgiving from mine to yours!image

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Interview Stress…anything but the “Big Easy”

Future Dr. B is knee deep in scheduling interviews for his residency in Orthopedic surgery occurring over the next few months. I was hoping this time of year was going to be easy for us. For one, during interview season, he isn’t in class as much and a lot of his learning can be done remotely. I figured this meant that we would be spending some good ole’ quality time together. Boy was I wrong! This has been a super stressful time for us. With the wedding planning and the unknown of our future location, I have been feeling the stress much more than I thought. Deep Breaths…

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I was thinking of a way we could just have a little “couple time”. I figured this would allow Future Dr. B to wind down a bit in between interviews and afford us the opportunity to just chill. I came up with this wonderful idea that I would book some cheap flights on Frontier Airlines to go to New Orleans (well Nola via Atlanta…we are poor) in the few days before Christmas. I checked all of B’s interview schedules and made sure that it appeared no other programs would book interviews, specifically making the trip very close to Christmas with the hopes it would actually work out. I assumed this was a safe plan because who would want to interview right before the holidays…right? Wrong…very very Wrong! Just last night, Future Dr. B got a very important interview…right on the day we were suppose to leave on our special Christmas NOLA trip. So much for Big Easy being Easy Peasy. I subsequently spent the next two hours on the phone with Frontier and Chase trying to make something work. Unfortunately, the flights cannot be changed at this point due to the fees and the flight schedule, so we are just out the money. Luckily I got a deal on the tickets. However, the most disappointing part of this whole problem is probably the most selfish – I was just really looking forward to have some control over what we did.

The worst part about dating a medical student, being engaged to a medical student, and trying to have a life around a medical student is literally having a complete loss of control. It wasn’t so much the loss of the money on the flights, or the fact that we will most likely being spending our trip on the road, driving across the midwest to get Future Dr. B to all of his interviews on time – I am really just selfishly annoyed that I can’t choose what I want to do when I want to do it. It sounds childish for sure, but it takes all of my power not to hold this against Future Dr. B. I totally know in my heart of hearts that this isn’t his fault by any means. I am so thankful we have made it this far under all of the challenges we have been under. Sometimes, however, I just want to do something for us…and for me…Shoot, let’s be honest, I really just wanted a hot beignet at Cafe Du Monde and to have 10 minutes of Future Dr. B’s time. Guess it will be driving south on 71 in snowy Ohio weather instead.

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Beignets

I think with Thanksgiving right around the corner, I am going to work on being thankful that B has way too many interviews versus not enough and that there is an end in sight. It might be a small bit of light…but I think I can just about see it. And in the mean time the beignets will wait and my wedding dress silhouette will thank me.

Time flies when you are dating a med student…

So I guess I should start by saying Hello! – again. It has been way too long since I updated this blog space. I was just reading through my previous posts and contemplating everything that has changed since the last time I logged on. I am kind of wondering where I went for awhile. This has been a great way for me to connect with others in the same situation as me. I saw how many great comments and responses I got to some of my posts during my long vacation from blogging, and I decided to come back! I think I am going to need everyone’s support now more than ever…as Future Dr. B is currently interviewing for residency…what!!??? and, oh yea he might have put a ring on it (insert very open smiley/shocked face here).

Hold up…Let’s back up before I get away with myself here. Let’s rewind a bit to where I left off. It was the eve of my 26th birthday and I had a lot to reflect on…a lot. I am now only a few months from 28, and let me tell you…I hate getting older. In between, I did a lot of working on myself. Future Dr. B was terribly busy at the end of his second year studying for Step 1 of the USMLE. This is about where I left off in this blog. That meant that year 26 allowed for a bunch of self exploration. I refined my hobbies, trained my precious, rambunctious pup Henry, and threw myself wholeheartedly into work. I wish I could say this point was better for both me and Future Dr. B, that everything was “easy breezy beautiful dating a future doctor world”…but trust me it was anything but. I think the distance, coupled with the relentless studying B was doing really made it hard for us to connect in our relationship at all times. However, by focusing on my other favorite person besides Future Dr. B, that is myself, it gave me time to work on the things that I needed to grow as a person. For that reason, the second year of medical school ended in a way I would not have predicted for myself…and that was – I was finally getting happy with ME. Future Dr. B on the other hand was very very tired, like fall asleep while you are standing in the grocery store line tired. Somehow we made it through to the other side…together.

Medical school year 3 started with the excitement of real medicine for Future Dr. B and a new team position for me at my job crunching some hardcore numbers. We had lots to talk about on the phone these days, with little time to do it given B’s crazy clinical schedule. I think M3 will forever be my favorite year of medical school for Future Dr. B because it was the first time I got use to the idea of him being a doctor one day. It gave me a glimpse of what was to come and the actuality that it might be manageable for our relationship and for his sanity. I am guessing he might have been feeling the same way because….On January 17, 2015, a cold long-weekend in the snowy midwest and in between a Friday and a Sunday clinical shift for Future Dr. B, he surprised me in the grandest way with a beautiful, sparkly diamond ring! I guess this is where this blog transitions from dating to potentially marrying a medical student. And yes – I did say YES.

#shitgotreal #FutureDr.andMrs.B

That is where the whirlwind present begins…in between long distance traveling to see each other…yes we still live in two different cities across the state, sub-internship’s in Orthopedic Surgery for Future Dr. B, B taking step 3 of the USMLE boards, the start of his M4 year, applying for 80 plus residency programs across the country, and all of this occurring with me just along for the ride, I still am in the process of finishing the planning of my dream wedding.

Now it is time to say hello again and see if anyone wants to join this super crazy journey with me. I’m scared to death what is ahead of me – I could be moving across states, getting a new job, selling my house, and moving Henry and myself on a journey that takes to the one person we both love the most – Future Dr. B. At any rate I am so ready for the close of this crazy story and the start of a new one….who is game?

The craziest part – I’m actually going to be marrying a doctor – Future Dr. B graduates the weekend before our wedding at the beginning of June.