I’ve Moved – Com’on with me!

Please follow me over to my new .com ->>>>> DatingaMedicalStudent.com

I plan to add a new instagram account and youtube channel. In this busy life I live, I would love to have you tag along. My first new vlog will air tomorrow -> “What it’s like to Date A Medical Student – “Real Life.”

I hope you join me!

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Liebster Award and Big Announcement!!!!

Recently, I was awarded the Liebster Award from a fun blog friend Born Into the Wild Life <—– go check her out. I am totally honored. The point of the Liebster Award is for fellow bloggers to nominated one another to encourage reading new and interesting blogs. I have been recently blogging a little more and am really committed to continue to share on this blog…it is both in my best interest (great mental boost), and I hope I have connected with some readers in the process. Below I have answered the questions asked of me by Born Into The Wild Life so that everyone can get to know me better. At the end I have a big announcement for this website!

Liebster Award Winner – Get to Know the Winner

1. If you could live forever, would you want to?

I absolutely love life. I would only live forever if everyone around me could live forever too. Being married to medicine, I know that birth and death is the natural cycle of life. However, if I could continue to just be 30, I would totally welcome that!

2. What did you have for your last meal?

My last meal would be the most amazing Neapolitan pizza around. I absolutely love authentic Italian pizza, and if I couldn’t eat anything else, this would be the last thing to grace my taste buds. Well, and maybe with some gelato for dessert.

3. Do you listen to anything when you shower? Or do you shower on silence with your thoughts?

Normally I just shower or bathe in silence. I enjoy thinking and relaxing in the hot water. If I were to play some music, say after a great workout, I would be blasting some old school rap. If I were trying to be mellow, maybe a little John Mayer.

4. Butter on bread, yay or nay?

Good crusty fresh baked bread is naked without some salted butter. A little discussed topic on my blog is my love of food. I really like it too much – not good for the waistline. Starting a meal with hot from the oven, crusty bread, and fresh salted butter, can’t get any better.

5. Do you have a party trick? If so, what is it?

No party trick here. I just generally like to socialize with friends and try to make them laugh at my bad jokes. I don’t have any of those crazy off the wall talents that people like to show off at parties. I can’t even curl my tongue or do crazy dance moves. I know, boring.

6. What do you normally eat for breakfast?

I’m super bad about eating breakfast. When I head to the office for work, I usually just have a trusty cup of coffee. If I am at home on a lazy Saturday or Sunday, I enjoy a good brunch spread. My husband’s favorite thing I make is anything with eggs. I sometimes do over easy eggs with cream cheese bags and fresh slices of tomatoes. I also use leftover veggies and potatoes to make an egg scramble. Always coffee though!

7. Do you think the afterlife exists? If not, do you hope it does?

I can only hope. At worst there is nothing, and at most, there is something. I tend to lean with the “something.” I grew up fairly religious. I am also fairly educated. I think there is a balance between tradition and knowledge. I go to church regularly and believe that there is something greater than ourselves.

8. Do you watch any TV show out of obligation and not because you actually like it?

Pretty much anything my husband wants to watch will be something I watch out of obligation. I don’t really watch a ton of TV. I mostly like light, reality TV if I am going to watch anything. TV shows on channels like TLC or watching Youtube Blogs would be my go to. My husband likes more intense shows. So if he is watching and I am there, it is out of obligation.

9. Is there a word you can never spell?

I am pretty bad at all spelling. When I was little, I had a difficult time with AWKWARD, until I made a little song up for it. Now I sing that song in my head every time I see or write that word.

10. What is your favorite fruit?

Cherries!!! or any berries for that matter. I could eat an entire tub of blueberries too. Love them!

So now that you have gotten to know a little about me, I am going to nominated a few of my favorite blogs in the coming days to participate in the Liebster Award.

Now for the Big Announcement……

My blog will soon be moving to datingamedicalstudent.com 

I know crazy! I am working to move everything over to the website just as it is here. Hopefully, I will also have a nice redirect widget that will help all my traffic move with me. If anyone out there has moved from wordpress.com to wordpress.org and has any advice or suggestions it is very welcome. Once the datingamedicalstudent.com is up and running, I plan to start vlogging and instagramming more as well. This will give me the flexibility to continue to grow the blog with more content.

Get excited! Please support me by following me there. More info to come in the next week.

We Made It!

Happy Anniversary to my sweet Dr. B. We made it two years married, almost 9 years dating and all through the changes of medical school and residency. It has been a roller coaster ride, but I wouldn’t want to ride it with anyone else. These last two years have been so nice because we are finally in the same place and spending time together. They have also been the hardest two years of our lives with so many challenges and changes we have had to endure – but we have done it together.

For anyone dating, engaged to or married to medicine, it is never an easy road. However, I can definitely say looking back, there have been more rewards in our relationship then pain. I love you Dr. B…..

Relationships with Residents

Dating a medical student is my blog namesake, but obviously my relationship has evolved past dating, and Dr. B has graduated medical school. I have actually been blogging since 2012, if that is even possible! Last I checked, medical school didn’t take 6 years  – then again, it sure felt like it did.

I figured I would take this time to explore relationships with residents a little further, since that is the season Dr. B and I are currently in on this journey to attending. Dr. B is on the eve of starting his third year of residency, but really his PGY 2 year since his first year was research block. Reflecting on the last two years, I have realized my life has been a whirlwind. I went back and read my first ever blog post titled “Medical School Girlfriend = Constant Waiting Game.” After thinking about that title, I realized this blog should really be called: “Resident’s Spouse = Alone in Empty House.” lollllz – I literally just laughed out loud. But in all seriousness, as much as I wanted residency to get easier, it comes with its own set of challenges. For Dr. B and I, residency meant we would finally be in the same place, living together, married. This was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, because just the idea of getting to spend time with him daily was a true treat. However, adding the benefit of being in the same place has also added the difficulties of a residents schedule. Dr. B has been on trauma rotations the last few months, and he comes home utterly exhausted. He eats dinner and hits the sack almost every night without so much as say two words to me. I feel so bad that he is that worn out, I don’t even protest. He only gets off 4 days in a month, and even those days I feel are meant for him to catch up on some much needed sleep, the kind he doesn’t get the rest of the month getting up at 4am and arriving home late into the evening.

For anyone who has followed this blog, I am a pretty independent person. So normally these maddening hours would just give me an excuse to throw myself into my hobbies, passions and friends. Moving to a different city for his residency has really thrown me for a loop, however. In the past, I had my sets of friends that I could easily hang with when he wasn’t around. In the city that we are in now, I feel like I don’t have enough strong relationships to have that same support system. In addition, we bought a house that has needed a fair amount of work. Doing a lot of these tasks alone adds to my general difficulties and loneliness.

Today was a good day overall. I need to count my blessings on days like today. I had an awesome lunch conversation with a newer friend I met during my MBA. I was also able to go to happy hour with a developing friendship I made during time at my last job. Today my social calendar was filled, and I was able to spend time cultivating new relationships. Yes, I am alone typing this blog. Yes, Dr. B barely has seen me this week. But days when I can laugh with friends over a marg and some guac are days that should be cherished.

I so want to love this time Dr. B and I have together. We are still newly married and our two year anniversary is only two weeks away. I sometimes kick myself for wishing away the days, and go back to my older blogs to remember the right way to handle this loneliness. I know I need to refocus and live in the moment. I need to enjoy being with myself. I need to trust that this journey does not come with a beginning and end, but an ever-winding path, with good turns and bad. I am happy to be 30 and in this season of life. My focus needs to be the good, not the loneliness and wishing for more. I’m just glad I still have a place to talk about these issues.

For anyone dating, engaged, married or in a partnership with a resident or someone with a resident  like career – how do you handle the time apart?

New Beginnings, Graduation, and Green Juice

GRADUATION

A lot has been going on recently, and many changes have been occurring. To kick it all off, a little over 7 months ago, I embarked on a sabbatical to finish my MBA, and I fondly coined it with the term “The Year of Me.”  Please take a look back at those posts for a little more background on what that journey meant for me. If you look back, so much of this blog really focuses on my relationship with Dr. B (I do plan to talk more about that in the future – there is always a lot to say there), but really “The Year of Me” was a time to find myself, finish my school, take a break from work. Well… the not even a full year of time has come to an end, and well – I graduated! GAHHH – sooo crazy.

 

NEW BEGINNINGS

So with the closure of that chapter starts a new chapter – I will being teaching at a local university in the evenings as an adjunct instructor! I am super excited about this new prospect and can’t wait to dive in and help my students grow. I am super nervous about this class though because I have never taught before – if there are any teachers or professors reading this, feel free to leave me some tips!

In addition to getting ready for the summer semester class, I have been trying to decide what is next for me. I am looking to get back into the corporate world , possibly for my last company and expand on my leadership. Please think about me as I embark on this decision. The last few months have been really hard with Dr. B’s schedule and his mom’s health, so I am not really sure what the right path is for me yet.

One top of all of that, I have been recently expanding my hobby selling new and used clothing onto Poshmark – you can find my store here – Poshmark Store. I have always been selling on the side here and there using eBay, but with the little extra time I have had, I am going to be adding more inventory to Poshmark. Feel free to take a look if you enjoy getting great designer clothes at a discount.

Now back to the important stuff – Blog Goals:

On top of all my other ventures, I really do want to make an extra effort to continue to update this blog. I do not get a lot of readers, but really this is a great outlet for me to express myself and update others. So here are a few of my goals below. If you feel so inclined, please comment on what you would like to hear more about.

  1. Reorg the blog – I need to do a better job categorizing the posts. I have a long-term goal to move this blog to my .com, but that is going to stay a longer term goal for now
  2. Continue to post more frequently. I would like to add some segments based on readers preferences. I get a lot of traffic on my older relationship blogs, but I am not always sure that is what people want to read. That is honestly what I enjoy writing about most, however, so bring it on.
  3. Incorporate more of me – a lot of this blog has centered around Dr. B. While it will always be that way to an extent, he is my husband after all, I would like to move this blog to focus a little more on myself. This would also make Dr. B feel better – he is blog shy. What are your thoughts?
  4. Vlogs? – This is the one thing I have toyed around with most of all. I see so many awesome vlogs out there today, and I have wondered if this would be a nice step for this blog. Mostly, because I think it would be awesome to have my life documented in a way. I am really bad about taking pictures and filming. I would like to have these memories captured, and I am wondering if a vlog is a good outlet. My only concern is that it exposes too much of my personal life/privacy concerns. Plus – who knows if my life is even that interesting.

Anyways – these are some of my goals. Please hold me to them, or at least making a decision on them. Also if you have any ideas, suggestions, or concerns please let me know. I am really interested in knowing what readers think. This blog started as a diary of sorts and has really expanded to be open to others. I’ve liked the growth in some ways, but I also want to keep that diary feel.

GREEN JUICE

You are probably wondering – what in the world? So as I mentioned in my last post, Dr. B’s mom is battling pancreatic cancer. This has been so hard on everyone (I have a post started on dealing with cancer in a family and as a spouse). One of the ways I have tried to be supportive is by doing ample research, mostly scientific because B is a Dr. after all. Her treatments haven’t been very successful and the cancer has spread fairly rapidly. This has been devastating news for all. During this bad news, I came across some scientific research around bitter melons helping cancer.

 

They are these sort of prickly melons I have found at an international market. Well, I have been juicing them for Dr. B’s mom. It is a very interesting and comical process. Would definitely make a good vlog if I ever do one. Here is a pic below of the juice I made.

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The reason this is important is she is having updated scans in two weeks. I am hoping for the first time we get a little good news and the green juice is working. This stuff doesn’t taste great, but I am praying it is killing dem cancer cells!

I think that’s all I got for now…

 

 

 

The Biggest Challenge Yet…

I don’t even know where to start this post. It has been literally ions since I last posted, and there are so many fun, exciting and developing life stories that I really need to start getting down on paper/blog. I know I say this every time. While I wish I was writing about the lighter things – this post is not one of those.

This story starts late last year in Nov/Dec time frame. My mother in law (MIL) (Dr. B’s Mom) had been complaining of pain in her abdomen, chest and back. Her primary care doctor decided she must have acid reflux (GERD) and prescribed her some medicine. Dr. B also thought the same. What else could a super healthy, 64 year old woman, who runs every day, really have wrong?

Fast-forward to right before Christmas – her symptoms seemingly were getting worse even on medicine, so her PCP ordered a CAT scan just as a precaution before he referred her to a GI specialist. On January 3, we received the worst possible news any family could ever hear – Pancreatic Cancer.

The C word is enough to send chills down your spine. A million thoughts were running through our minds when we found out. What would the next steps be for treatment, what is the prognosis (we had a feeling not good), how were we going to handle this, what about Dr. B’s work schedule, my work schedule, and how will we be able to be there for my MIL? The toughest part about this whole situation is that we live a little over an hour from my MIL, and Dr. B lost his father in high school. He is also an only child, so we were really fighting this thing alone and on a resident’s schedule. When determining how to tackle this fight, we decided that we definitely need to get an opinion at a large research hospital about an hour north of my MIL’s house, which is just about 2 hours drive from where we live. We decided that the treatments that they had to offer would be the most cutting edge and give her the greatest chance of survival.

After a flurry of appointments and discussions, the cancer team and Dr. B ultimately decided the best course of treatment for my MIL was to have neoadjuvant chemotherapy – which essentially means having chemo before surgery. I cannot even begin to tell you how difficult it was to watch a robust, healthy and happy woman just fade before your eyes. The first couple rounds of chemotherapy were nothing short of Hell for my MIL. I stood there watching the cancer war unfold, helplessly trying to do whatever I thought I could to help her turn a corner. I cooked and cooked, reading article after article on foods that would enhance her viability and strength. She was unable to keep much down so we pushed her, cheered her on, helped her just get stuff done because it literally could not get any worse in our mind. We had our eye on the prize. A few more weeks of this terrible path and hopefully surgery will get this cancer gone!

That leads us to a few weeks ago. Dr. B and I were scheduled for a little spring break trip in New Orleans that butted up against a conference Dr. B had to present research at. We felt immensely guilty going away but had been encouraged by some of the progress my MIL started to make before we left. Little did we know, our vacation was going to be cut very short. We got the worst call of a lifetime standing in the french quarter with some friends. Its one of those calls you just don’t erase from your mind because it literally just changes your entire life in an instant. My MIL had been having a super rough day so her friend decided to drive her to her cancer hospital to get checked out. While she was at the ER, she had some additional scans done to make sure everything was okay. Long-story short, the scans showed that the cancer had literally spread all over her abdomen. The cancer was everywhere, and we were helplessly standing in the French Quarter just flabbergasted, not knowing what to do next.

We quickly changed our plans and got flights back home. We were able to spend the next week dealing with my MIL inpatient, trying to determine next steps and get her the best possible care. It was a blessing that Dr. B was off of work for our trip so that he had some time to dedicate just to figuring out all the details of her treatment. Watching him be so brave and try to be his mom’s biggest support system, as well as her caregiver, power of attorney, doctor at times, coach, and her parent at the worst of times, made me appreciate his calm and caring spirit. However, it was just devastating to watch him break down, knowing that we were looking into death’s door, helplessly holding on for dear life. I couldn’t imagine this love of my life in so much pain. I had no idea how to comfort him. Here I am with both my parents, healthy and intact, and he was on the verge of having none. My heart was broken for him daily. I just tried to be there whenever he needed me. I went through a roller coaster of emotions myself – cursing God for bringing this on such a sweet woman and her son – Begging God to show us mercy and heal her terrible pain – crying out to whoever in the universe would listen, and help show us the way.

My MIL is currently at home and doing slightly better but is no longer a surgical candidate. Her prognosis is still undetermined but this serious turn of events has lead us down the path we least wanted to take.

Dr. B and I have been challenged time after time since the day we started our relationship. We have been challenged by distance, by circumstance, by timeline, and now this. Really our challenges are the whole reason I even started this blog about 6 years ago. I really don’t know where to go at this point and firmly feel we are experiencing our biggest and hardest challenge to date. I don’t know how you move past this, whatever the outcome, and that is a very scary possibility. All of this hardship has brought us closer together as a couple. However, I feel each one of us individuals is close to unraveling at any minute due to the stress and heartache each challenge has caused. Please pray for us on this Easter weekend.  Help us get through this, our biggest challenge yet…

Sabbatical – The Road Diverges

So a few months ago I wrote my first post in awhile. I then went dark again for a time. Last we spoke, I had been toying with the idea of leaving my job and starting something fresh. Well, my friends, I did actually act on that thought and took break from work (it’s been almost 8 weeks now). I am currently on sabbatical from my manager position and now finishing my MBA full time. The funniest part about this transition is that now Dating a Medical Student has turned to Business Student Married to Medicine….I digress

Transitioning back to school has been nothing short of great for me. I have offical coined the next 8 months – “The Year of Me.” This means that dealing with residency and Dr. B’s absence is much easier. He is now almost halfway through his first year of surgical residency and if anyone who reads remembers, that means that he is one year done through research fellowship and now halfway through 1st year residency…that means only……4.5 years to go of training and then 1 year of fellowship…oh my.

When I was working around the clock and Dr. B was in research fellowship, and then starting residency, I started to go to a dark place. I had thought that we were finally together and that being with someone in medicine would not be that hard after all that distance. Boy was I wrong. Once he started residency, he was not home much at all. The trouble with that was that nothing was getting done around our house, and I began to get overwhelmed because I also did not have time to commit to our home life. We were like two ships passing in the wind. I realized for my own personal sanity and for the balance we needed in our life, I needed to take a step back. That is a very difficult decision to make in my opinion. Not only had I been very independent and working full-time since the day I had graduated undergrad, but I also am a main monetary contributor.

Sometimes you have to do what needs to be done. I realized that I had been working so hard to support Dr. B and his dreams, but I had not taken time to realize my own. I knew I needed a change, and I took a leap of faith for something new. I am not sure what I am going to do in April when I graduate. Going back to the manager madness I came from does not sound appealing. However, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I am finally doing something I have wanted to do for awhile. Dare I say I feel freed. It has been very good for my relationship with Dr. B as well because as much as I hate to admit it, I may have been holding a grudge on him because of my lack of ability to pursue something for me.

Divergence is scary, but omg is it freeing. Follow me on this new path – all, and I promise to keep you more informed as I actually have some precious time back!