Oh what to say.
It has been a while since I posted on this blog. Part of me wondered if maybe it was time to shut this down. I did not really feel like talking about what was going on much, I had been feeling pretty numb, and really a whole lot has changed. The whole point of this blog was to act as a way to express my emotions regarding the ups and downs of dating a medical student. Except I’m not really in the dating phase anymore…we are getting married in two months , and well medical school is ending. Actually, yesterday was Future Dr. B’s last real day of medical school to be exact.
Then I changed my mind, and I had thought that I would let this blog evolve into the craziness of match and what life was like moving and getting married etc. However, the unthinkable happened.
I had a post all ready for the weekend of March 18th. Anyone who follows medicine closely knows that all the doctors in the US match on this day. We had high hopes. Future Dr. B had gotten a ton of interviews, he had a great application, and did all the right things. Match day came, and we figured that this was our time. All of these posts that I had written about the uncertainty of our future – well this was going to change, because in my mind, Match day finally meant a certain future…one together.
Game…Set…Match (wait what?)
This was my reaction when we heard what was happening for Future Dr. B’s…well…. future. He wound up getting a one year position, when we had initially assumed it would be a 5 year position. Also, the position just happens to be in a city that is at least 5 hour drive from my current house.This also means that he needs to go back through match, he wasn’t going to be the doctor he wanted to be, at least for this year, and well yea…
Obviously, from my own selfish mind, I was hoping that Future Dr. B’s match position would be close to where I live so we wouldn’t have as much of the hassle of moving and changing our whole lives around. I had not even stopped for a moment to think that there was the potential that he might not even match to what he needed to, to be the doctor he wanted to be. In all reality, the worst part about this match curve ball was that Future Dr. B was really going to have to go back through the match system again next year to be able to achieve his final goals of being a surgeon. This was just devastating to us both.
A few weeks have gone by, and we have realized that in some ways things have worked out better than they could have, given our situation. We are working on renting a house in the new town we will need to move to and my job is currently, potentially, letting me be flexible in my work schedule after the wedding. This will be wonderful because I might not need to leave my job even though I am moving 5 hours away. However, there is still a ton of uncertainty for our future. We have the chance of needing to move again after Furture Dr. B goes through the match next year. Additionally, this year is going to be our first year of marriage, and I am probably going to have to split my time from where he is and my current town for my job.
I had also had some career aspirations that I wanted to pursue that will have to go on the back burner…oh yea and somewhere in there I turned 28 so for some reason I am feeling pretty old to be doing all this craziness.
I decided I will keep this blog though because lo and behold, I am going to have a lot of uncertainty and plenty of things to talk about. If only I can find the time in all this madness. So here is to moving cross state, getting married real soon, first year of marriage woes, remote job craziness, and just the day to day.
My first wedding shower is this weekend, and I am looking forward to some positive excitement in my life.
Definitely…definitely more to come