I’m not exactly sure where the time actually went this last time around. I had kept saying to myself that I was going to make an update before the holidays ensued. Yet here I am, almost the end of January, and I still have done no such thing. I realized though, for my own sanity, I definitely needed to make this update and start blogging more as a priority. I am going to prescribe myself at minimum a weekly dose of blog time. As much as I enjoy hearing from all of the other awesome “dating” “married” or “chillin with” a medical student friends, writing on this blog has been a way for me to relieve all the built up stress and anxiety that comes with the uncertainty of attaching yourself to a medical student. Attaching…hmm I think this will be my new term. I realized there are so many forms of relationships with medical students that dating alone doesn’t cover all of my bases. Additionally, since it will be Mr. and Mrs Future Dr. B in LIKE 100 days (gaahhhh), I felt like I need to start transitioning.
December and January were the months of interview season for Future Dr. B. This was both an interesting and trying time for me because the actuality of Future being just plain Dr. B is almost unbelievable. Dr. B got many residency interview invitations that often included inviting me along for the ride. I don’t know what the customary practice was, but I unfortunately could not attend many of his interviews because I had to hold down the fort (well my fort) and work. At first I thought this was for the better. I mean who seriously wants to stand around and talk about Ankylosing Spondylitis (yeah I totally understand what that means **wink**). Although in the end, while I did save myself from boring too long latin word speak, I did feel a bit left out of the process. I do feel like the resident match decision is a very mutual thing when you have “attached” yourself to this Future Dr. I very much appreciated that the residency programs do want to include significant others because it is crazy to think my whole future is going to change solely based on his job decision. So much goes into the match and much of it is out of anyone’s control. I feel like this is very different from any other profession, aside from maybe the military, because you generally get to factor your preference above all others. I think it was important that Future Dr. B and I critically think about each of the choices he was going to make interview wise before he puts them up as potential places of our future.
I found that the few interviews events that I was lucky to attend, I met many warm and interesting significant others along the way. The best thing about going was that the significant others totally got it. I mean like TOTALLY got it. I love my non-medically attached friends, and I myself am not medically inclined, but I feel like unless you live it in some way, unless you are attached to a medical school him or her, you just don’t truly understand how it feels. I digress.
Interviews completely made me feel both terrified and excited all in one. I was so glad to meet some amazing people. It gave me hope that my transition with Future Dr. B will be smoother than I concocted in my mind, especially if we….I guess I should say I…should have to move far away from my safety net. There are so many possibilities of places we could be in June and for those of you who read this random blog…you know that Future Dr. B and I will finally be in one place…sighhh of happiness…just hopefully it isn’t so far and isolated we get sick of each other. However, I also felt like there is an intensity among residents and the programs that was much different than I expected. One candidate even had the gull to tell me that it was “all about him” referring to Future Dr. B and the residency match process. While the red anger built in my head, about to erupt through the top with cartoon like steam,I let it slide. I mean seriously? All about him? I only scheduled every one of his interviews and plotted out his road map to each destination on a color coded map. I have organized each program in an excel file by state, size, candidate types and “What does Janean think” column for good measure. It’s not just about him but about me dammit! I realized quickly though, I just needed to let that stuff slide. As long as Future Dr. B and I were on the same page, we could conquer this together.
In order to keep me from going nutty, I am looking forward to our wedding and spending most of my energy worrying about wedding stuff. Match day is seven weeks away (March 18) and it will literally eat me away with nerves if I spend too much time thinking about it. In a couple weeks, Future Dr. B will seal the envelope (well, fill out a webpage) with his 24 ranked residency programs. I will be chewing down every speck of nail till then, fantasizing what my life will look like this time next year.
Now can someone get me a Xanax please!